Thursday, November 30, 2006

It’s Their Party

This doesn’t happen too often, but we commend famed pastor and best-selling author Rick Warren for hosting the second annual Global Summit on AIDS beginning today at his Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif.

1). But, no matter how much merit this important conference has, that hasn’t stopped some evangelicals from getting up in a lather and causing a stir. Seems that there are nearly 60 speakers scheduled to give addresses at the AIDS summit but conservative evangelical Rob Schenck, president of the National Clergy Council, has e-mailed reporters to protest the visit of THIS speaker who Warren invited and who Warren is defending. Who is this speaker who has raised the ire of so many God-loving Christians?

A. Sen. Barack Obama
B. Sen. Hillary Clinton
C. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger
D. Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani

2). And why is this person’s participation in the Global Summit on AIDS being black-balled by the Christian right?

A. This person supports a woman’s right to choose.
B. This person was not born in America.
C. This person has a gay campaign manager.
D. This person has attended several mosque services since the 9/11 attacks.


1). A: Barack Obama, who by the way, is a Christian.
2). A: Schenck is protesting the visit because of Obama's support of abortion rights. "Senator Obama's policies represent the antithesis of biblical ethics and morality, not to mention supreme American values," Schenck wrote in an e-mail to reporters.
The Saddleback Church responded with a statement acknowledging "strong opposition" to Obama's participation. The church said participants were invited because of their knowledge of HIV/AIDS and that Warren, author of "The Purpose Driven Life," opposes Obama's position on abortion and other issues. "Our goal has been to put people together who normally won't even speak to each other," the Saddleback statement read. "We do not expect all participants in the summit discussion to agree with all of our evangelical beliefs. However, the HIV/AIDS pandemic cannot be fought by evangelicals alone. It will take the cooperation of all — government, business, NGOs and the church."

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Immigration Reform?

Granted, we at Holier Than Thou don’t expect a lot out of a state that tried to criminalize doctors who perform stem cell research and tried to force public school teachers to teach intelligent design. But even we were a bit shocked at how far Christian Conservative legislators in Missouri are willing to stretch to impose their Evangelical beliefs onto public policy.

Case in point? The House Special Committee on Immigration Reform, a Republican-lead panel that is examining immigration policy. And, among its most outrageous finding is the claim that THIS cause celeb of the Christian Right is partially responsible for the large number of illegal aliens in the country.

What is it?

A. Gay marriage
B. Abortion
C. Pornography
D. The lack of prayer in our public schools

B: Abortion. The argument made by committee chairman Rep. Ed Emery, who not coincidentally is a strong abortion foe, is that terminating unwanted pregnancies in this country has created a labor pool shortage that in turn entices illegal aliens to come to this country to fill the void. Eliminate abortion, the argument goes, and there won’t be enough jobs around to attract illegals to our shores.

We’ll let Rep. Emery take it from here: “We hear a lot of arguments today that the reason that we can’t get serious about our borders is that we are desperate for all these workers…If you kill 44 million or your potential workers [through abortion], it’s not too surprising we would be desperate for workers.”

Not too surprisingly, not a single Democrat on the panel endorsed this report.

Come back tomorrow when we see how the Missouri GOP will link giving women the vote to catching AIDS.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

A Woman’s Concern All Right!

Well, President George W. Bush might have taken a “thumpin’” in the mid-term elections, but that hasn’t kept him from continuing to pursue bizarre and dangerous policies designed to appeal to the Christian Right.

Case in point, the appointment of Eric Keroack to oversee the federal Office of Population Affairs, which oversees a $283 million budget for federally funded teen pregnancy, family planning and abstinence programs.

Now it’s a given that a Bush appointee would oppose abortion, and Mr. Keroack fits that bill. But the gynecologist and obstetrician has raised the hackles of critics because he also opposes WHAT?

A. Federal funds for sex education courses
B. The HPV vaccine against cervical cancer
C. Interfaith marriage
D. Contraception

D: That’s right, the new head of Bush’s office of family planning opposes contraception. Keroack is currently the medical director of the Christian non-profit A Woman’s Concern, which, among other things, works to “help women escape the temptation and violence of abortion.” But the group also opposes contraception, saying — quite paradoxically — that it increases out-of-wedlock pregnancy and abortion rates. That’s right, using birth control actually INCREASES unplanned pregnancy in Keroack’s eyes.

We’ll let the group’s own policy statement take it from here: “A Woman’s Concern is persuaded that the crass commercialization and distribution of birth control is demeaning to women, degrading of human sexuality and adverse to human health and happiness.”


Monday, November 27, 2006

When Good Christians Go Bad: Timothy Byars

Welcome back to another installment of a little feature we like to call “When Good Christians Go Bad.”

Today’s Christian in the spotlight is Timothy Byars of Dyersburg, Tenn. Byars is a youth minister and minister of music at the Springhill Baptist Church he has attended for the past 14 years, a married father of seven, and a volunteer cross-country coach at the local high school.

But, according to local police, is Byars also accused of WHAT?

A. Raping a 14-year-old female student/cross-country runner just hours before a track meet — while his own daughters slept nearby
B. Plotting to blow up a Nashville gay bar with 23 pounds of dynamite stolen from nearby Fort Campbell army base
C. Masterminding a crystal meth production and distribution ring that reaches as far north as Pittsburgh and as far west as Las Vegas
D. Being married to three other Tennessee women, the youngest of who is 17, and the eldest of who has six OTHER children by him

A: The youth-minister part of this one should have given it away — Byars is accused of raping a 14-year-old girl that he had driven to a state cross-country meet. Byars is also accused of sexually assaulting the girl’s 19-year-old sister on the same trip — a trip that two of Byars’ own daughters were also on.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

…But You Can’t Please All of the Christians All of the Time

Earlier this week, we noted that Wal-Mart had responded to pressure from the Religious Right by dropping it’s “happy holidays” customer greetings in favor of the evangelical-favored “Merry Christmas.” But the goodwill garnered by the company from Christian Conservatives has proved to be short lived.

Now comes word that evangelical political groups like the American Family Association and Operation Save America have called for boycotts of Wal-Mart and prayer protests at its stores during the all-important post-Thanksgiving weekend because the company did WHAT?

A. Said it would greet Jewish-looking customers with “Happy Chanukah”
B. Began to stock the Plan B “morning after pill” contraceptive
C. Became a member of the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce
D. Advertised “The DiVinci Code” as a “Price-Saver Christmas Stocking Stuffers” in its recent catalogue
E. Doesn’t carry the “talking Jesus” doll made famous by the recent Toys for Tots controversy

C: Wal-Mart became a member of the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce this summer, and also donated some $60,000 to Out and Equal, a gay rights in the workplace advocacy group — moves that the Rev. Flip Benham of Operation Save America charges is capitulating to the “radical homosexual agenda.”

“This has been Christian families’ favorite store,” Benham said, “and now they’re giving in, sliding down the slippery slope so many other corporations have gone down…They’re all being extorted by the radical homosexual agenda.”

Responded Wal-Mart spokesman David Tovar, “We take pride that we treat every customer, every supplier, every member of our communities fairly. We do not have a position of same-sex marriage. What we do have is a strong commitment to diversity. We’re against discrimination everywhere.”

We at Holier Than Thou, meanwhile, just want to wish all our readers a Happy Thanksgiving! We’ll be back on Monday November 27.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

If God Told You To Jump Off a Bridge, Would You?

Today we offer up more proof that perhaps not everything in the Bible should be taken literally.

Case in point is the fate of Linda Long, a 48-year-old Kentucky woman who was injured during a Sunday service at her longtime church and died at a local hospital shortly thereafter.

Long was killed while practicing her religion as she had been instructed to by her God — who it seems to us has a somewhat ironic sense of humor. So, just HOW did she die?

A. She choked to death on a communion wafer
B. Hit her head on the pew in front of her while bowing in prayer
C. Drowned in an immersive Baptismal font
D. Was bitten by a snake while serpent handling
E. Had a stroke after 32 straight hours of praying for Ted Haggert to be “healed” of his “sexual deviancy”

D. The unfortunate Ms. Long was bitten by a poisonous snake while serpent handling — a practice that is illegal in Kentucky and carries with it a whopping $100 fine.

“She said she was bitten by a snake at her church,” said a local police spokesman, while neighbors noted that snake handling was a common practice at her East London Holiness Church. The practice traces its roots back to a Bible passage that claims that the sign of a true believer is one who can “take up serpents” without being harmed. Church officials could not be reached for comment.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Merry Christmas!

The Evangelical’s may have lost the House and the Senate, but last week they made an important gain in the retail sector.

That’s because a nationwide store chain said that, in bowing to pressure from groups like the American Family Association and the Catholic League, it would reverse its past “Happy Holidays” greeting policy and once again welcome its November-thru-December customers with a hearty “Merry Christmas!”

“We’re not afraid to use the term ‘Merry Christmas,’” said a company spokeswoman. “We’ll use it early and we’ll use it often.”

So, WHICH retailer just made the switch?

A. Wal-Mart
B. Target
C. Toys ’R Us
D. Costco

A. Wal-Mart, which will also include the word “Christmas” in its TV ads, promises to play Christmas carols throughout their stores, and changed the name of its “The Holiday Shop” department to “The Christmas Shop.” Somewhere, Jesus must be smiling — probably as He’s digging around in His pocket for a credit card to buy that 8-foot blowing plastic lawn snow globe of Frosty frolicking with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Friday, November 17, 2006

And a Friendly Reminder for Married Catholics Everywhere…

Yesterday we looked at the new rules for being a Gay Catholic in America, as released following a two-day meeting by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops. But the bishops didn’t just single out gays — they also reiterated some strong rules of conduct for straight parishioners, too.

Among these edicts was a reminder that Catholics should not receive Communion if they have sexual relations outside of marriage. But they also noted that MARRIED Catholics of childbearing age should not receive Communion if they do THIS — despite the fact that a whopping 96 percent of such Catholics do it anyway. What is it?

A. Support abortion rights
B. Use artificial birth control
C. Engage in sexual intercourse for purposes other than conceiving
D. Watch pornography

B: Use artificial birth control.

The bishops acknowledge that their prohibition on birth control is unpopular, since fully 96 percent of married Catholics of childbearing age indeed use birth control. (We at Holier Than Thou have to wonder if 96 percent of UNMARRIED Catholics are using birth control!) But as Bishop Arthur Serratelli reminded those who disagreed, “To be a Catholic is a challenge. To be a Catholic requires a certain choice.”

Toys for Tots Update

Earlier this week we ran a quiz question about the Marine Reserves’ Toys for Tots program declining the donation of Bible-quoting, battery-operated Jesus dolls. We thought that was a good idea for obvious reasons, but now in a surprising reversal, the Toys for Tots program has decided to accept the donation of 4,000 foot-tall dolls.

Toys for Tots had explained that they couldn't accept the religious toys because they didn’t know the faiths of the needy children that they gave toys to and that the organization did not endorse one religion over another. But, inexplicably, these concerns apparently have been quelled.

"The talking Jesus doll issue has been resolved," the organization announced on its Web site Wednesday. "Toys for Tots has found appropriate places for these items. We have notified the donor of our willingness to handle this transaction." The short note on the Web site did not explain what it would do with the dolls. But we think they caved from outside pressure and rather than do what was right and stick to their guns.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

New Rules for “Disordered” Catholics Everywhere

While the rest of us have been caught up in the “Dancing with the Stars” finals, it seems that America’s Roman Catholic bishops have been busy confabbing in Baltimore. Among the results of their two-day shindig? How about some brand new, hot off the presses guidelines on gay and lesbian outreach.

This new “Ministry to Persons with a Homosexual Inclination” is designed for Catholics to allow gays and lesbians into their parishes — and even accept Communion — despite the Church’s beliefs that gays are sexually “disordered.” However, to do so, gay Catholics must follow a strict set of guidelines.

So today we simply ask you how well you know the rules of Gay Catholicism.

1). Is it a sin to be attracted to someone of the same sex?
A. Yes
B. No

2). If you’re gay, can you get married in the church?
A. Yes
B. No

3). Does the church support adoption by gay couples?
A. Yes
B. No

4). Can the children of gay Catholics be baptized?
A. Yes
B. No

5). Should gays be discouraged from telling others outside their close circle of friends and church members about their sexual orientation?
A. Yes
B. No

1). No, it is NOT a sin to have gay feelings — only to act on those feelings.

2). No, the church does not support gay marriage

3). No, the church does not support gay adoption, but…

4). Yes, the children of gay couples can indeed be baptized into the church

5). And yes, the Church says that gays should remain closeted to all but their closest friends — not to mention avoiding the “lifestyle and values of a ‘gay subculture.’” (We assume that means no Barbra Streisand records, but we’re not really sure.)

But lest ye think that the Church is being hard on its gay members, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops also took on straight people too. And for that, you’ll need to check back in this space tomorrow.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Return Policy

It’s Christmas time and in keeping with the spirit of the season, many people will make donations to worthy charities. Among those is the Marine Reserves’ Toys for Tots program, which provides toys for needy children.

Normally, Toys for Tots is eager to accept new toys that will brighten a poor child’s Christmas, but recently, the organization turned down a company’s generous offer to donate 4,000 toys because of the religious nature of the playthings. What were the toys?

A. Battery-powered Jesus dolls that recite Bible passages.
B. “Left Behind” board games that teach children if they aren’t Christians, they end up in Hell.
C. “The Fashion of Christ” coloring books complete with non-staining felt pens that encourage children to dress modestly and be chaste.
D. Virgin Mary dolls that weep, sigh and glow in the dark.
E. A stuffed lamb plush toy that when squeezed plays “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.”

A: The foot-tall, button-activated, bearded Jesus doll is dressed in hand-sewn cloth outfits and sandals and quotes Bible verses. It is manufactured by one2believe, a division of the Valencia-based Beverly Hills Teddy Bear Co.

Marine Toys for Tots explained that as a government entity, Marines “don’t profess one religion over another,” said Bill Grein, vice president of Marine Toys for Tots Foundation, in Quantico, Va. And in addition, the group has no idea what the religious affiliation of the children who receive the toys is. “We can’t take a chance on sending a talking Jesus doll to a Jewish family or a Muslim family.”

According to Beverly Hills Teddy Bear Co.’s Web site, the Jesus doll recites Scripture such as "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again" and "Love your neighbor as yourself." It has a $20 retail value. Michael La Roe, director of business development for the company, lamented the charity’s decision left him "surprised and disappointed."

"The idea was for them to be three-dimensional teaching tools for kids," La Roe said. "I believe as a churchgoing person, anyone can benefit from hearing the words of the Bible."

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Singing No Praises

Seems everybody has an opinion about religion these days, even famous musicians. So read the quote below and match the celebrity to the diatribe:

“Religion promotes the hatred and spite against gays…But there are so many people I know who are gay and love their religion…From my point of view, I would ban religion completely. Organized religion doesn't seem to work. It turns people into really hateful lemmings and it’s not really compassionate.”

A. Elton John
B. Madonna
C. Gene Simmons
D. K.D. Lang

Elton John, who went on to tell the Observer newspaper’s Music Monthly Magazine: “I think religion has always tried to turn hatred toward gay people.” Well, Elton, sadly, we’d have to agree.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Quitting Time

Maybe we should give the Religious Right a break. They’ve had a tough week what with the thumping the GOP took in the midterm elections. But, this one caught our eye. It surprised us when we read that one of the most vocal religious conservatives of them all, none other than Focus on the Family founder James Dobson, recently decided to throw in the towel. Read on.

1). “Emotionally and spiritually, I wanted to be of help — but the reality is I don’t have the time to devote to such a critical responsibility,” Dobson explained as he recently withdrew from the team overseeing:

A. Investigations into outing gay Republicans in Congress.
B. The promotion of a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage.
C. Strategies for reinvigorating the evangelical base after the recent midterm elections.
D. Counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard, the evangelical pastor who was fired amid allegations of gay sex and drug use.

D: Counseling Rev. Ted Haggard. The counseling process, called restoration, could take years, said H.B. London, vice president for church and clergy at Focus on the Family. The other two members of the team, Pastors Jack Hayford of The Church on the Way in Van Nuys, Calif., and Tommy Barnett of First Assembly of God in Phoenix, declined to comment on Dobson’s departure.

Haggard was forced out as senior pastor of the 14,000-member New Life Church he founded on Saturday after a former male escort alleged they had sex repeatedly and that Haggard used methamphetamines.

In a statement read at the church, Haggard confessed to unspecified “sexual immorality,” accepted responsibility for his actions and asked forgiveness.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Mid-Term Results

The election results are in and well, God made His will known and it seems the Almighty loves Democrats after all. Who knew?

With the Virginia senatorial election FINALLY decided, we can now deliver to you our long-promised Holier Than Thou Mid-Term election recap.

You may remember the following candidates and issues among those we had touched upon in the weeks leading up to the election. So just how well did these candidates and ballot measures do? Let’s find out!

1). Did Katherine Harris, who declared that only Christians should vote and believes that God Himself chooses our political winners and losers, unseat Democrat Bill Nelson in the race for his Florida senate seat?
A. Yes
B. No

2). Did Rick Santorum, the gay-bashing darling of the Christian Right, keep his Pennsylvania senate seat in his battle with Democrat Bob Casey Jr.?
A. Yes
B. No

3). Did George Allen, the Bible-thumping, racial-slur casting senator from Virginia, keep his seat in his battle with Democrat James Webb?
A. Yes
B. No

4). Did Conrad Burns, the anti gay marriage amendment-backing senator from Montana, keep his senate seat in his battle with Democrat Jon Tester?
A. Yes
B. No

5). Did South Dakota voters pass a measure that would have outlawed all abortions in that state?
A. Yes
B. No

6). Did Missouri voters reject a measure that would provide legal protection to doctors and researchers who perform stem cell research?
A. Yes
B. No

7). Did Arizona voters approve a measure that would ban gay marriage under the state’s constitution?
A. Yes
B. No

1-7: B: No!

In fact, it seems that Christian conservatives took a drubbing at the polls only to be matched by those of the GOP at large. On top of that, the GOP also lost control of the seat formerly held by disgraced congressman — and evangelical firebrand — Tom DeLay. Bottom line? The self-proclaimed Party of God has lost control of both the House and the Senate to the Democrats.

Which makes us wonder if Katherine Harris is right that God is the one choosing our leaders, just whose side is He REALLY on?

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Happy Election Day!

We at Holier Than Thou have spent the better part of the last week looking at the various campaign foibles and follies of various candidates from the Religious Right. And with the election finally upon us, we thought we’d check in on the leader of the evangelical political movement himself — no, not Ted Haggert, we’re talking about President Bush!

Alas, the poor president is so disliked these days, most Republican candidates want nothing to do with him. But the day before the election, Bush managed to find one Holier Than Thou candidate who was willing to stand beside him for one last campaign stop photo op.

So, WHICH candidate is so desperate that being seen with Bush is actually considered a plus?

A. Pennsylvania’s Rick Santorum
B. Ohio’s Mike DeWine
C. Florida’s Katherine Harris
D. Virginia’s George Allen

C: Only Katherine Harris — whose campaign was so inept that the While House tried to get her to drop out of the race — wanted to hitch a ride on Bush’s coattails prior to Election Day, leaving struggling candidates Rick Santorum, Mike DeWine and George Allen steering clear of our Commander in Chief.

Check back here tomorrow to see how all of our favorite Holier Than Thou candidates did!

Monday, November 06, 2006

Mega Mistake

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you all ready know about this one, but we had to write this quiz anyway. When will those who say they are messengers of Christ knock off the self-righteous act and actually behave like true Christians?

It’s written that “pride cometh before the fall,” and well, those are words we can’t argue with because once again, a self-proclaimed man of God has done something decidedly un-Christ-like.

1). Case in point, members of the New Life Church in Colorado Springs, a mega-church with a membership of some 14,000 faithful, were shocked recently when they found out that their senior pastor and founder of the church, Ted Haggard, was in very hot water. Haggard, who is also the president of the National Association of Evangelicals — a group representing 30 million Christians — has taken a sudden leave of absence because:

A. Allegations came out that for three years he had been having sex with a male prostitute.
B. He had been embezzling money from the church to pay for his escalating gambling habit.
C. He was a heroin user and had been using his suite of offices at the church to sell drugs.
D. He was getting divorced and marrying a former exotic dancer.

2). To make matters worse, Pastor Haggard admitted to which of the following? (Hint, there’s more than one correct choice!)

A. Lusting for a woman other than his wife
B. Buying methamphetamine
C. Receiving a massage from a male prostitute
D. Being politically liberal

3). And things have only been going from really, really bad to far worse for Haggard over the weekend. He just resigned as president of the influential National Association of Evangelicals and he was:

A. Dismissed as leader of the megachurch he founded.
B. Dumped by his wife who is filing for divorce.
C. Served papers that he’s being investigated by the IRS for tax evasion.
D. Beaten up by three of his former congregants in the church parking lot.

1. A. The male prostitute, Mike Jones, told the Associated Press that over the course of three years, he and Haggard had sex dozens of times. But Haggard, who has been an outspoken opponent of gay marriage, denied having sex with him.

2. B and C. The evangelist has admitted that he bought methamphetamine (but maintains he never used it) and received a massage from Jones.

3. A. After the New Life Chuch’s independent investigative board determined the influential evangelist had committed “sexually immoral conduct” Haggard was fired. “Our investigation and Pastor Haggard’s public statements have proven without a doubt that he has committed sexually immoral conduct,” read a statement from the Overseer Board of New Life Church.

Church member Christine Rayes said the congregation had hoped the allegations were false, but now they have to face the future. “We all have to move forward now,” she said. “This doesn't make what Ted accomplished here any less. The farther up you are, the more you are a target for Satan.”

Friday, November 03, 2006

Know Your Candidates: I’m a Better Christian Than You

Welcome to another installment in our continuing series, “Know Your Candidates,” a pre-election public service where we take a closer look at various candidates from the Religious Right.

Today we at Holier Than Thou are wondering why we even bother to have elections. After all, if THIS senatorial candidate is to be believed, it is God Himself who chooses the winners and the losers on Election Day, not the ballet box.

Not only has this candidate urged voters to elect only “tried and true” Christians, and not only has this candidate said that “God is the one who chooses our rulers,” and not only has this candidate said that non-Christians “don’t know better,” but this candidate has gone so far as to call their Democratic opponent a Christian hypocrite.

“[He] claims to be a Christian” this candidate said, but he supports policies “completely contrary to what we say we believe.”

This despite the fact that the Democrat in question is known for regularly attending prayer groups in the Capitol, is the former Chairman of the National Prayer Breakfast, and even carried a Bible with him on a Space Shuttle mission in 1986.

So, just WHO is this senatorial candidate who is questioning their opponent’s Christian credentials and literally claiming to be Holier Than Thou?

A. Pennsylvania Republican Rick Santorum
B. Virginia Republican George Allen
C. Florida Republican Katherine Harris
D. Tennessee Republican Bob Corker
E. Montana Republican Conrad Burns

C: Anything this crazy has to be coming from Katherine Harris of Florida, who finds herself trailing Democratic incumbent Sen. Bill Nelson by a wide margin in the days before the election.

Says Nelson in his defense, “My faith is the essence of my being. But it is a part of my life I don’t feel I should try to take advantage of in the public square.”

Then again, if Harris is correct in her statements that God pulls the only lever that counts on Election Day, we’re sure she has nothing to worry about.

Once again, we’ll keep you posted after Election Day!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Know Your Candidates: Dysfunctional Family Values

Welcome back to another installment in our continuing series, “Know Your Candidates,” a pre-election public service where we take a closer look at various candidates from the Religious Right.

Today we want to take a look at so-called family values, and how one Holier Than Thou congressional candidates is pushing this issue to the absurdist extreme.

This candidate not only falsely accused his democratic challenger of wanting to import homosexuals to the United States, and not only falsely suggested that his opponent was gay, but he also criticized his challenger for being “childless” — as though this is somehow an amoral thing to be — despite the fact that his opponent’s wife had a hysterectomy more than 20 years ago!

So, just WHO is this congressional candidate who puts the “F” into family values?

A. California Republican Duncan Hunter
B. Ohio Republican John Boehner
C. Pennsylvania Republican Curt Weldon
D. North Carolina Republican Vernon Robinson
E. Colorado Republican Rick O’Donnell

D: North Carolina Republican Vernon Robinson, who, while exaggerating outlandish charges against U.S. Rep. Brad Miller (D), proclaimed during a recent debate, “Those are San Francisco values, not North Carolina values.”

Responded a bemused Miller, “It’s clear that Vernon Robinson is obsessed with sex.”

Who will the voters choose? Come back to this space on November 8 to find out!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Know Your Candidates: A Constitutional Amendment Against Divorce?

Welcome to another installment in our continuing series, “Know Your Candidates,” where we look at the antics of various candidates from the Religious Right.

Today we’re examining a Republican congressman facing a tough re-election campaign by another Godless Democrat. So, just how Holier Than Though is our endangered congressman?

He not only famously said in a congressional debate, “like a moth to a flame, the Democrats can’t help themselves when it comes to denigrating and demonizing Christians,” but he ALSO called marriage “the picture of Christian salvation” and described divorce as being just as dangerous as gay marriage.

So, just who is this divorce-phobic Republican Congressman?

A. California Rep. Richard Polombo
B. Indiana Rep. John Hostettler
C. Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum
D. California Rep. Duncan Hunter
E. Ohio Rep. John Boehner

B: Indiana Rep. John Hostettler, who is such a Warrior for Christ that he once was caught trying to board a jet in Louisville carrying a loaded 9-millimeter pistol.

But divorce? Now that’s a sin!

Hostettler now finds himself far behind Democratic candidate and Vanderburgh County Sheriff Brad Ellsworth in a battle for re-election with less than a week before the election.