Keeping Our Schools Safe in Georgia

At a time when we have been inundated with stories of shootings in our nation’s schools, we couldn’t help but notice the actions of Laura Mallory of Gwinnett County, Georgia, who has taken it upon herself to keep her local schools safe.

Ms. Mallory, a mother of four and no doubt a God-fearing woman, is pressing her local board of education to ban WHAT “evil” thing which she said leads to such school shootings?

A. The thigh-high skirts the Gwinnett High cheerleaders wear
B. The annual “Halloween Haunt” festival and fundraiser
C. Jewish elementary school teachers taking time off for the Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kipper holidays
D. Harry Potter books from the local schools’ libraries


ANSWER
D: Ms. Mallory wants to ban all Harry Potter books from the schools libraries, saying they are an evil attempt to indoctrinate children into the Wiccan religion while creating a culture that leads to more school shootings.

To which, Board of Education attorney Victoria Sweeny pointed out that if all books containing references to witches were removed from the libraries, they would have to include Shakespeare’s “Macbeth” and Disney’s “Cinderella.”