Monday, October 16, 2006

Divorce With the Stars

We didn’t start the fight by turning ABC’s “Dancing with the Stars” into an unlikely battleground in the Culture Wars, but we’re looking to end it now that Sara Evans has quit the competition upon filing for divorce from her husband of 13 years.

Evans, a successful country star with a wholesome image who had sung “The National Anthem” at the 2004 GOP convention, was a popular contestant among evangelical Christians. But it was the Republican campaign machine that turned her involvement with the show into a political movement.

So we’ll start by asking you:

1). WHICH Holier Than Thou GOP operative started an e-mail campaign in support of Sara Evans encouraging TV viewers to vote for her on “Dancing with the Stars”, noting that she “has been a strong supporter of the Republican Party and represents good American values in the media”?

A. Karl Rove
B. Jeb Bush
C. Tom Delay
D. Mark Foley

2). That same GOP operative went on to urge his followers to defeat WHICH OTHER CONTESTANT on the show by stating, “We need to send a message to Hollywood and the media that smut has no place on television by supporting good people like Sara Evans”?

A. MSNBC’s Tucker Carlson
B. Talk show host Jerry Springer
C. Actor Mario Lopez of “Nip/Tuck”
D. Self-proclaimed “bad girl of pop” singer Willa Ford

3). However, GOP politics and Sara Evans were linked long before her turn on “Dancing With the Stars.” In fact, her husband Craig Shelske ran his own unsuccessful Republican campaign for a Congressional seat in Oregon and worked as a GOP fundraiser as well.

But it was his extra-circular activities that ultimately led to his divorce. WHICH of the following were among the allegations made by Evans against her husband in her divorce filing? (Careful, there could be more than one correct answer here.)

A. He drank excessively
B. He was emotionally and physically abusive
C. He committed adultery
D. He watched pornography with his 7-year-old child in the room
E. He has at least 100 nude photos of himself in a state of arousal on his home computer
F. He has other photos of himself having sex with other women on the same computer

4). Of course, before the divorce filing, Evans and Shelske were seen as the model family values family, with three young children living a righteous Red State lifestyle in Tennessee.

In fact, as recent as last year, Evans discussed how “devastating” divorce can be (she is a child of divorce herself), and noting that, “The way to an amazing marriage is” WHAT?

A. “…being patient with one another.”
B. “…reading Bible passages to each other every night.”
C. “…sharing your faith in the Lord on a daily basis.”
D. “…having sex…lots of sex.”

1). C: It was disgraced Republican Tom Delay who turned his campaigning talents to the call-in reality show on Sara Evans’ behalf.

2). B: Delay singled out “ultra liberal talk show host Jerry Springer” for defeat. (For the record, Springer has lasted on the show longer than Sara Evans did.)

3). That would be all of the above. What’s more, according to intrepid blogger Wonkett, Shelske also liked trolling around Craigslist looking for threesomes and strangers to have anal sex with.

4). D: Sex was apparently Evans’ recipe for a happy marriage — or at least, a happy marriage with a sexual deviant. “Sex keeps the marriage young,” she continued. “And a woman should maintain herself for her husband and stay attractive. I like to put the kids to bed, have a glass of wine on the patio or by the fireplace, and I ask Craig, “’What do you need of me?’”


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