Friday, July 07, 2006

WMDs Finally Found!

Forget about Muslim extremists. It seems that the latest WMD attack has actually taken place in Waldo, Fla., thanks to Christian fundamentalists!

The chemical weapon attack, in which a corrosive substance was pumped into a building through a series of bottles and hoses, took place at the site of a local business that has long been the target of prayer vigils and religious-backed protests.

The HAZMAT team was called out to the site, and clean-up costs are estimated at more than $30,000.

And while detectives are still trying to determine just what the caustic chemical was, they are quick to call it an act of local terrorism, noting that under Florida state law, the chemical device was by definition a weapon of mass destruction.

So, just what was the site that was attacked?

A. An abortion clinic
B. A Jewish synagogue
C. An adult bookstore
D. A movie theater showing “The DaVinci Code”

C: The Café Risqué Adult Supercenter, to be more precise. While the homemade weapon was rather sophisticated, the attackers were not – and failed to notice the security camera capturing their every move.

Police say they have strong leads in the case, which carries a maximum penalty of 30 years in jail.

Said a local police official, “You’re trying to hurt people. You’re trying to change their ideas or instill fear. And that’s exactly what the terrorists do. So this person is a local terrorist.”


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