Into the Lion’s Den

From our “We Just Couldn’t Resist” file comes a dispatch from Kiev, Ukraine, where a man climbed into the lion enclosure at the local zoo.

Apparently, the man was attempting to test his faith in God — or God’s faith in him — by lowering himself by a rope into the pen, taking off his shoes and walking right up to the King of the Beasts shouting: “God will save me, if He exists!”

So, what happened to the man?

A. The lions had recently been fed and showed no interest in him, thereby proving God’s existence
B. Zookeepers managed to wrestle him to the ground while fending off the lions, saving him and thereby proving God’s existence.
C. The man turned and ran away screaming once a lion approached him, but not before the lion ripped the seat of his pants out as he scrambled back to safety, but nonetheless, proving God’s existence
D. The lion killed him



ANSWER
D: “A lioness when straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery,” said a zoo official. We’ll leave it up to you as to whether this event proves that God doesn’t exist, or simply doesn’t like idiots.