Monday, July 10, 2006

Texas Two-Step

Deep in the heart of Texas, the Christian Right’s takeover of the state Republican Party is now complete. As proof (as if you need any) we offer the following:

1) Which of the following statements is NOT part of the Texas GOP’s party platform, as recently adopted at the party’s convention in San Antonio:

A. “America is a Christian nation”
B. “God is undeniable in our history and is vital to our freedom”
C. “Life begins at the moment of ejaculation”
D. “We pledge to…dispel the myth of the separation of church and state”

2) The Texas GOP also made the connection between Christianity and WHAT seemingly unrelated issue with this statement: “Lord, your words tell us there’s a sign that this nation is under a curse, when the alien who lives among us grows higher and higher and we grow lower and lower.”

A. Terrorism
B. Illegal immigration
C. The estate tax
D. UFO research

1) C: Apparently, ejaculation is thus far not a part of the Texas GOP’s platform.

2) B: According to the Texas Republican Party, God doesn’t like illegal immigrants any more than he likes anybody else who isn’t a Texas Republican.
Party leader Tina Benkiser seemed to sum it up at the confab’s Saturday morning prayer meeting when she declared that, “(God) is the chairman of this party.”


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