Friday, July 28, 2006

Money Changers Welcome!

It seems that Jesus — yes the same Son of God who took a vow of poverty and sought spirituality over materialism — will be coming to a retail outlet near you.

Which of the following was NOT an actual product offered for sale in Denver at last month’s International Christian Retail Show, the nation’s largest collection of Christian-oriented consumer products.

A. “Virtuous Woman,” a perfume that comes packaged with a passage from Proverbs
B. “Follow the Son” flip-flop sandals, with souls imprinted to leave the words “Follow” and “Jesus” on the ground after each step
C. “Gospel Golf Balls,” inscribed with the Bible verse John 3:16
D. The “Revirginator Briefs,” underwear designed for born- again virgins (both men and women) to remind them of their vows of chastity
E. “A Life of Faith” dolls, complete with books whose stories tell how the dolls found sustenance in their faith
F. The “Christian Outdoorsman” camouflage-print Bible cover

D: Thus far, there are no “Revirginator Briefs” on the market, although we at Holier Than Thou intend to begin production on our own prototype shortly!


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