The Nine Commandments

It doesn’t get any better than this.

As a high-ranking member of President Bush’s inner circle, Claude Allen was tireless in trying to thrust his personal Born-Again Christian beliefs onto the rest of us by turning Christian tenants into public law.

Among other things, he supported a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriages, supported the right of military chaplains to mention Jesus in prayers at publicly funded military institutions, and was a big fan of abstinence-only sex education.

He also home-schooled his children, and was active in his Covenant Life church.

Yet despite all the trappings of being a Good Christian, Allen was leading a secret life, and when he recently resigned his post at the White House, he was subsequently accused of violating WHICH of the 10 Commandments?

A. Do not commit murder
B. Do not commit adultery
C. Do not steal
D. Do not testify as a false witness against your neighbor
E. Do not be envious of your neighbor's wife, his slave, his maid, his ox, his donkey, or anything else that is your neighbor's


ANSWER
C: He is accused of violating the 7th Commandment, “Do not steal.”

Specifically, Allen is charged with buying items from Target, taking them to his car, re-entering the store with his receipt, picking the SAME items off the shelf, and then taking them and his original receipt to the return desk for a refund. Investigators said Allen — who was making $161,000 a year from his White House job — tried to steal at least $5,000 from Target this way.

In typical White House fashion, Allen said he is innocent of the charges, blaming it all on a mix-up with his credit card. The obligatory statement from Allen’s church, meanwhile, said, “Our concern is for his soul.”