Friday, March 10, 2006

The Dark Side of the “Painter of Light”

We confess. We at Holier Than Thou had no idea that artist Thomas Kinkade, the self-professed “Painter of Light,” is a hero among the Evangelical Christian movement for his works of art that apparently profess themes of faith and family values. All we seem to remember from his paintings is sunlight streaming through clouds over an old farmhouse.

Nor did we know that the Born-Again Kinkade wears that mantle proudly, noting that none other than God himself guides his brush strokes.

But, like many a good Christian, Kinkade apparently has a dark side too.

According to accusations in a recent article in the Los Angeles Times, when he’s not painting pictures, Kinkade has also done what?

A) Drunkenly heckled Siegfried & Roy onstage
B) Fondled an unsuspecting woman’s breasts at a signing party
C) Cursed a former employee’s wife who came to his aid after he fell off a barstool
D) Urinated on a Winnie the Pooh figure at the Disneyland hotel saying, “This one’s for you Walt.”
E) All of the above

E: All of the Above. Which makes us wonder, if God is guiding his brushstrokes, what must the Man Upstairs have been guiding when Kinkade was peeing on poor old Winnie the Pooh?


At 1:05 PM, Blogger staunch atheist said...

brilliant beyond...
I think we should do what the Romans did years ago, throw these buggers to the friggin lions!!!! and make sure you charge admission. After all, nothing in life that's worth anything is free right?


At 6:15 PM, Blogger Greg Spring said...

Ha, ha, ha!


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