Friday, March 17, 2006

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day!

Top o’ the morning to you dear reader. We at Holier Than Thou wish all you a happy Saint Patrick’s Day.

And because nobody, not even the Catholic Church, can turn down a good excuse to party, dozens of bishops across the country are granting a special one-day dispensation today to allow their parishioners to do WHAT?

A) Drink alcohol
B) Miss Mass
C) Eat meat
D) Watch HBO
E) Engage in homosexual relations



ANSWER
C) Eat meat. Since Saint Patrick’s Day falls on a Friday, and it is also Lent, and since Catholics are prohibited from eating meat on Fridays during Lent, many churchgoers found themselves in a dilemma: forego the traditional dish of corned beef and cabbage or commit a sin and risk eternal damnation.

Thankfully, bishops from New York to Chicago are granting their followers a one-day-only Get Out Of Hell Free card through special dispensation that will allow them to eat meat — and therefore corned beef — today after all.

Kind of makes you think they’re making all these rules up as they go along, huh?

7 Comments:

At 12:13 AM, Blogger Kirk said...

Great post! The Catholics are absolute nutcases. I hate them almost as much as Jesus hated the sinners.

 
At 6:17 PM, Blogger Greg Spring said...

Well, I'd love to agree with you and to a point I do, but I have to confess. I was born a Catholic! But thanks for your insightful comments nonetheless. Keep on reading!

 
At 9:44 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Greg: Don't tell me what to do. Every time I think I find a decent site it ends up being a liberal cesspool. All you people want to do is push your immorality on other people. You make me sick. Once a Catholic, always a Catholic. I'll be laughing at your torment on Judgment Day.

 
At 8:18 AM, Blogger Greg Spring said...

So, you liked the site until I said I was a Catholic (non-practicing by the way) and then it became a liberal cesspool? Hmmm... And by the way, if you are a true Christian, aren't you supposed to be a fisherman of men? Aren't you supposed to love your brother and show him the way to God's unconditional love so he might find salvation? I wonder how Jesus would feel if He read that you would be "laughing at my torment on Judgment Day." Think you better read the Bible again and this time, try to live it.

 
At 9:11 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Greg: Actually it was when I read your Bush bashing liberal "nine commandments" post that I had a problem with this site. BTW, there are Ten Commandments no matter what your Pope says. "Fisherman of men?" "Love your brother?" I'm sorry, but you better read your Bible. God detests homosexuals. Jesus will be laughing with me as we watch your soul torn apart by hideous demons.

 
At 8:14 AM, Blogger Greg Spring said...

Kirk: As always, we appreciate your comments so much, that you have been named the official poster child of Holier Than Thou. You've been given this honor because you are a perfect representation of everything that this site strives to expose. God bless you!

 
At 10:33 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Greg: I have not idea what the Hell that means, but I'm sure it is meant as an insult. Perhaps idiots like you feel it's necessary to call people names, but I am above that. Praise Jesus.

 

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