Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Love thy Brother, Hey But Not That Much!

Think all Protestant religions are created equal? Ah, not so dear reader. To clear up any misunderstandings about how different Christian faiths stand on homosexuality (an issue that really seems to get the goats of most hell-fire Evangelicals), we at Holier Than Thou thought a little primer on the topic was in order.

Match the faith with its policy on homosexuality:

1) Methodists
2) Baptists
3) Presbyterians
4) Lutherans
5) United Church of Christ

A) Bans ordination or appointment of “self-avowed practicing homosexuals” in the clergy. It defrocked a lesbian minister in October and backed a pastor who refused church membership to a gay man.

B) The U.S. Church rejects the ordination of sexually active gay and lesbian clergy. Current policy allows homosexual ordination, but requires sexual abstinence. Some churches in Europe allow gay clergy.

C) The largest U.S. group of this faith denounces homosexuality as a sin. It supports efforts to change gay people’s orientation to heterosexuality through faith. It bars gay ministers but some small liberal groups in the United States and some churches in other countries have begun to accept them.

D) This church has dropped an outright ban on gay clergy but said its ministers must live “either in fidelity within the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman or chastity in singleness”. Some European churches in the Reformed tradition, to which the U.S. church belongs, allow gay clergy.

E) This U.S. church has been ordaining gay clergy for more than 30 years and it endorsed gay marriage at its 2005 synod.

1. Methodists: A
2. Baptists: C
3. Presbyterians: D
4. Lutherans: B
5. United Church of Christ: E Yikes! the Baptists must be praying for these liberal heretics who actually practice tolerance.


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