Cable Ready?

The FCC, in bowing to longstanding complaints by members of Christian-backed “family” groups, has been putting increasing pressure on cable networks and carriers to remove what is deems as “indecent” content from many cable TV shows.

Thus, the cable companies thought they had struck a good compromise by offering up “family friendly tiers” — packages of networks that carry G-rated programming — which would allow such like-minded viewers to block all “objectionable” shows from entering their homes by focusing exclusively on family-friendly networks. Networks typically included in such tiers include children-oriented fare like Nickelodeon and Disney Channel, and some adult-minded networks like HGTV and Food Network.

Thus, one can’t blame the cable companies for feeling a bit betrayed at a recently industry trade show when FCC Chairman Kevin Martin said such “family friendly tiers” may not prove to be a practical solution to the indecency concerns of conservative viewers because of WHAT?


A) The “family friendly tiers” typically do not include religious networks like TB.
B) The “family friendly tiers” typically contain PBS, which airs “Tellitubbies” and “Sesame Street” — two shows that promote the homosexual lifestyle
C) The “family friendly tiers” do not block out objectionable content in commercials on such networks, such as ads for birth-control pills or underwear
D) The “family friendly tiers” are boring, and few people will actually want to order them


ANSWER
D) That’s right, the same people who want to keep the rest of us from watching our “Nip/Tuck” and “Big Love” don’t want to purchase just family-friendly-only cable packages themselves.

Why? Could it be that they are watching “The Shield” too?

Another complaint is that no one will want to purchase these packages because they don’t offer sports channels — despite the risk of future wardrobe malfunctions.