The Hand of God: Quiz #5

Welcome to this week’s installment of “Holier Than Thou,” in which the Religious Right sees the Hand of God in Hurricane Katrina’s devastation, Evangelicals spread the word through video games, and the origins of dinosaurs are finally revealed (hint: it isn’t evolution).

Of course, no “Holier than Thou” quiz would be complete without a little Pat Robertson thrown in for good measure — he’s been on a roll lately, we can’t help ourselves.

So sharpen your pencils and no cheating. We don’t need to remind you what happens to cheaters, do we? (ANSWERS BELOW)

All joking aside, Hurricane Katrina has left such horrific destruction in its path and so many in dire need that all of us who can help must help. Please, give as generously as you possibly can to the American Red Cross (www.redcross.org) or to any reputable charity assisting the victims.


1) Well, it didn’t take long for the Christian right to insert their political agenda into the misery that is Hurricane Katrina. While the floodwaters were still rising, a group calling itself Columbia Christians for Life proclaimed that Katrina plowed into New Orleans as God’s punishment because abortions are performed in the Big Easy. To prove its claim, the group says:

a) The city’s churches were largely spared by the storm.
b) The storm made landfall following “The Lord’s Day” (Sunday).
c) Color satellite images of the storm resemble those of a six-week-old fetus.
d) No abortions have been performed in the city since it was leveled by the storm.


2) Which TWO of these events was NOT listed by Columbia Christians for Life as PAST evidence of God’s retribution against abortion-allowing states?

a) The 9/11 attacks in New York
b) The anthrax attacks against Congress in Washington D.C.
c) The bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City
d) Earthquakes, mudslides and fires in California
e) Hurricanes Bonnie, Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne in Florida


3) Religious firebrand Pat Robertson has been offending and infuriating people across the globe of late. A mere week after Robertson’s famous “let’s assassinate the duly elected President of Venezuela” remarks, the Jewish Anti-Defamation League condemned Robertson’s comments on the Israeli withdrawal from the Gaza Strip, in which Pat ominously warned:

a) “God says I am going to judge the nations who have parted my land. He said I am going to bring judgment against them.”
b) “Jesus is angry in Heaven today.”
c) “The liberals in Israel have won this battle, but they’ve lost the war.”
d) “Christians must pray that the settlers hold their ground!”


4) And it seems Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez is still steamed about Pat Robertson’s recent remarks on “The 700 Club” in which he called for Chavez’s assassination (seems Pat believes that Chavez endangers the region with his leftist leanings). Although Robertson later apologized, Chavez has threatened to lodge a formal complaint with the United Nations AND:

a) Wants a formal apology from Robertson delivered before the United Nations.
b) Has requested Robertson travel to Venezuela as a guest of the state to see first hand how free his people are.
c) Said Venezuela could ask the U.S. to extradite Robertson.
d) Wants George W. Bush to guarantee the U.S. will not attempt to assassinate him.


5) Depressing statistic of the week: According to a 2004 Gallup poll, what percentage of Americans believe that human beings did not evolve, but instead were created by God, as stated in the Bible, about 10,000 years ago:

a) 25%
b) 35%
c) 45%
d) 55%


6) At the recent 20th annual Catholic World Youth Day in Cologne, Germany, several delegates from the international coalition “World Youth Day 4 All” raised eyebrows with their vocal lobbying for the Vatican to drop its ban on:

a) Abortion
b) Condom use
c) Rap music
d) Marijuana


7) Focus on the Family will bring its international “Love Won Out” conference to Birmingham, Ala., on Sept. 17. The Metropolitan Church of God will host the one-day event, designed to educate and equip attendees on the issues surrounding:

a) How to create a loving, healthy marriage and family in America today.
b) Promoting racial and religious tolerance in an increasingly diverse America without compromising Christian values
c) Alcoholism and drug abuse and how to surrender these struggles to Christ
d) Homosexuality and providing help for those struggling — and those whose loved ones struggle — with unwanted same-sex attractions


8) High school-aged campers at the Christian “Generation Joshua” spend a week at the rural Purcellville, Virginia camp forgoing the usual canoeing and communing with nature and instead spend their days in the great outdoors:

a) Mentoring underprivileged and high-risk elementary school children who need positive role models.
b) Putting together care packages of snacks and letters of support for our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.
c) Preparing meals and collecting clothing for a Christian outreach program that serves the homeless and indigent.
d) Putting on pretend press conferences and acting out political ads about such hot button issues as abortion and gay marriage so campers can practice their political stumping techniques while working on a mock presidential campaign.


9) There’s still a few more weeks of summer left, so why not pack up the kids and head to Eureka Springs, Ark., to visit the Museum of Earth History where fossil replicas of dinosaurs are adjacent to images of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. The museum’s founder, Thomas Sharp, attempts to make science and the literal interpretation of the Bible compatible. A staunch proponent of “Intelligent Design,” who believes the world was created in a mere six days, Sharp explains in his museum — and others he’s planning nationwide — the existence of dinosaurs using WHICH rationale:

a) Pairs of dinosaurs (adolescent ones due to space constraints) were shepherded onto the Great Ark by Noah and God created it all.
b) Dinosaurs are really the remains of demonic beasts that God slaughtered in a rage when Satan was damned.
c) Dinosaurs were created out of mud and filth by Satan to confuse humans and lead us to worship science, rather than God.
d) Dinosaurs were created by the liberal media to promote atheism.


10) Put down that Gameboy! To combat the raunchiness and violence rampant in mainstream video games, a group of Christian businessmen have recently started The Christian Game Developers to create games with wholesome content and a positive message. Which of the following is NOT one of the games they’ve developed:

a) “Rebel Planet” in which users explore the world before the great flood.
b) “Saint or Sinner?” in which gamers search for false prophets among world leaders and send them to hell using the Lord’s light saber.
c) “The Bible Game,” in which players race across the parted Red Sea to battle Goliath with a slingshot.
d) “Catechumen,” in which gamers use a sword to convert Roman soldiers to Christianity to the cries of “Hallelujah! Hallelujah!”




ANSWERS

1) C
2) B and C
3) A
4) C: Chavez maintains that calling for the assassination of a head of state is a terrorist act.
5) C
6) B
7) D: "While the gay life is often glorified in ‘pride’ festivals and through the media, we offer a distinctly different message — one of hope and healing for those who don't share that sense of pride," said Mike Haley, “Love Won Out” host and a self-declared “former” homosexual.
8) D
9) A
10) B