Divine Interpretation

We at Holier Than Thou have grown accustomed to — almost bored with — the likes of Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell and George Bush having the audacity to interpret “God’s will” for the rest of us.

But when New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin took a stab at being God’s envoy for the human race yesterday, we had to stand up and take notice.

In a speech in which he discussed the rebuilding of New Orleans, Mayor Nagin laid out a whole laundry list of God’s grievances and demands, noting bluntly that, “God is mad at America.”

So, for the record, which of these statements did Nagin NOT make about the motivations and demands of the Divine One?

A) God is angry with the U.S. for invading Iraq under “false pretenses”
B) God is angry with the black community because some 70 percent of black children are born into single-parent families
C) God wants New Orleans to be rebuilt as an African-American city, or what Nagin describes as a “chocolate New Orleans.”
D) God is “Sending hurricane after hurricane after hurricane, and it is destroying and putting stress on this country.”
E) God wants to see the New Orleans Saints back in the NFL playoff’s by the 2006/2007 season.


ANSWER
E: Thus far at least, it seems, that God is still a Packers fan.