Know Your Candidates: Fools for Christ

With the mid-term elections just a week away, we at Holier Than Thou have taken it upon ourselves to provide a public service that we like to call “Know Your Candidates,” where we look at the antics of various candidates from the Religious Right.

Today we’re examining a Republican congressional candidate who has boldly proclaimed that they had been handpicked by the Man Upstairs for the job.

“God then called me to run for the United States Congress,” the candidate recently told a large campaign gathering at a local church. “You are now looking at a fool for Christ.”

So, just which GOP candidate is this self-proclaimed “Fool for Christ”?

A. California Republican Richard Polombo
B. Minnesota Republican Michele Bachmann
C. Florida Republican Katharine Harris
D. North Carolina Republican Vernon Robinson
E. Texas Republican Shelley Sekula-Gibbs


ANSWER
B: Minnesota Republican Michele Bachmann claimed that God personally asked her to run for Congress. The remarks came at the Living World Christian Center in Brooklyn Park, Minn., where Pastor Mac Hammons gave Bachmann his seal of approval as well.

“Ya know we can’t publicly endorse as a church and would not for any candidate,” Pastor Mac told his congregation, “but I can tell you personally that I’m going to vote for Michele Bachmann.”

Sadly (for Pastor Mac at least), even that non-endorsement endorsement appears to violate IRS rules against churches campaigning for specific candidates, and the Living World Christian Center now potentially finds itself in legal hot water regarding its tax-exempt status.

It Takes Balls, Redux

Congratulations to the St. Louis Cardinals, who won the World Series this weekend four games to one over the Detroit Tigers.

You might notice that the Colorado Rockies were not the world champions after all — not surprisingly to most baseball fans, but perhaps surprising to the Man Upstairs himself.

As you might recall, earlier we at Holier Than Thou noted that the Rockies consider themselves to be a Christian team, with weekly prayer meetings, Biblical inscriptions around the clubhouse and a ban on Playboy magazine.

In fact, team officials had gone so far as to say that their faith has paid off on the playing field, with God having a direct hand in several of the team’s big wins.

Granted, God obviously didn’t have a hand in enough wins for the Rockies to claim the World Series crown. So, just for the record, WHERE did the Colorado Rockies finish up the season in the National League West?

A. First Place
B. Second Place
C. Third Place
D. Last Place


ANSWER
D: Yes, this one was perhaps a bit too easy, but the Rockies did finish in the National League West cellar, behind the Padres, Dodgers, Giants and Diamondbacks.

So, is God a Dodgers fan, a Cardinals fan, does He have better things to do than worry about baseball, or was He perhaps looking to punish those in baseball who would commit the deadly sin of Pride by suggesting God was on their side?

We’ll leave that one for you to decide…

Ministerial Exception

While priests seem to be able to do to just about anything and keep their jobs, like abusing children with impunity, apparently that nuns have no such employment protection.

Case in point? Former nun and Catholic university chaplain Lynette Petruska, who not too long ago was fired from her post at Gannon University in Erie, Penn.

Petruska sued the university, and took her dismissal to the 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals, only to have it rule that “ministerial exception” — the idea that separation of church and state means that courts can’t hear lawsuits involving the internal workings of religious institutions — barred it from taking up Petruska’s claim.

But, just for the record, WHY does Petruska say she was fired from the university?

A. She is gay
B. She is married
C. She was caught sexually abusing an underage student
D. She helped to expose a priest who was accused of having an affair


ANSWER
D: Petruska was involved in exposing priestly misconduct — and for doing so was promptly fired. She is now planning on taking her case to the U.S. Supreme Court.

“We will continue to pursue this case,” she said, “because whether a religious employer is above the law is an important question that should be resolved by the Supreme Court.”

More Must See TV

For a network mired in fourth place, NBC sure seems to be at the center of the Religious Right’s campaign against what we watch on TV.

Last week we reported that the network earned the ire of Christian groups for airing the word “tits” in “ER.” (Really, that’s all it took to launch a complaint to the FCC).

But a closer look reveals that the tits incident has only scratched the surface of the Religious Rights’ complaints about the network.

So, just to set the record straight, which of these is NOT an actual Christian campaign against NBC?

A. NBC was targeted by Christian groups until it agreed to edit out a controversial scene from Madonna’s current tour — to air next month — in which the Material Girl hangs from a mirrored cross while singing her song “Live to Tell”
B. NBC was targeted by Christian groups after it edited out references to “God” in the children’s animated series “VeggieTales”
C. NBC was targeted by Christian groups after the Oct. 15 airing on “Sunday Night Football” for airing a routine by the Atlanta Falcons cheerleading squad that was seen by some as being sexually suggestive
D. NBC was targeted by Christian Groups for the premiere of the new series “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip,” during which the fictional TV show runs afoul of sensors for its plan to air a skit called “Crazy Christians.”


ANSWER
C: As of yet, there has been no complaints against the Falcons — or any — cheerleading squad. The complaints against Madonna, “VeggieTales” and “Studio 60,” however, are very, very real.

The Christian Coalition of the Willing Loses Another Member

Once again, we at Holier Than Thou feel the need to point out that the Evangelical movement has begun to eat its young.

Earlier in this space, we pointed out that the Alabama chapter of the Christian Coalition had left the national group founded by Pat Robertson and headed for years by Ralph Reed, joining state chapters from Iowa and Ohio, which had left the group in protest of its liberal leanings. (We’re not kidding — they really did use the word “liberal” to describe the political leanings of the Christian Coalition.)

Well, it seems the organization has lost yet ANOTHER member, as THIS state’s chapter just announced it too is cutting its ties to the Christian Coalition.

A. Georgia
B. Oregon
C. Kansas
D. North Dakota


ANSWER
A: Georgia, which like the others, complained of the Coalitions liberal drift for taking stances on such issues as the minimum wage, the environment and the Internet.

“It’s a really said moment,” said Georgia Director Sadie Fields. “I deeply regret we have been compelled to take this action, but we felt like we had no choice.”

Countered national Christian Coalition President Roberta Combs, “Family values reach beyond abortion and gay marriage.”

He Fought the Law

Time for another check-in with the Holier Than Thou police blotter.

Monsignor John Skehan, pastor at St. Vincent Ferrer Catholic Church in Delray Beach, Fla., was arrested at Palm Beach International Airport and is being held on $400,000 bond on charges of doing WHAT?

A. Embezzling $8.6 million on church funds over four decades
B. Traveling to Thailand on a “sex tour” with underage boys
C. Drunk and disorderly behavior for fighting with two flight attendants on his flight from Ireland
D. Smuggling two rare pigmy monkeys into the country by stuffing them in his pants


ANSWER
A: So much for that vow of poverty! Skehan is accused of stealing $8.6 million in church funds and using the money to buy property and other assets.

Meanwhile, a second priest from the church, Rev. Francis Guinan, has disappeared and is being sought by police for stealing more church funds since taking over from Skehan three years ago.

Who Would God Bomb?

Fear not, all ye who believe that the Iraq war has gone from bad to worse with no end in sight. President George W. Bush may not seem to have a plan for victory, but God does, and most importantly, He is sharing it with none other than Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld.

At least that’s the chilling conclusion of one of the top architects of the Iraq war, who recently gave Rummy the big thumbs up by saying that suicide bombings, civil war, reprisal killings, sectarian violence, corruption and rising U.S. casualties aside, Rumsfeld’s command is literally inspired by God.

So today we ask you, WHO recently said of Rumsfeld: “He leads in a way that the good Lord tells him is best for our country”?

A. President George W. Bush
B. Vice President Dick Cheney
C. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice
D. Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Gen. Peter Pace


ANSWER
D: Marine Gen. Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, was the one who credits Rumsfeld with being led by God. Kind of makes you wonder whose side God is on, doesn’t it?

Mad Mel

We at Holier than Thou were bemused by Mel Gibson’s recent interview with Diane Sawyer on ABC’s Good Morning America when the outspoken traditionalist Catholic and macho-man discussed his summer drunk driving arrest in Malibu and his bizarre anti-Semitic ranting. But we’ll let Mel provide clarification about his behavior that fateful night.

1). As everyone knows, when Gibson was pulled over for drunk driving, he blew his stack, blustering that the Jews were responsible for all of the wars in the world and just to really spice things up, Mr. Traditionalist Catholic called a female officer “sugar tits.” So what does one of Hollywood’s biggest hitters attribute his uncontrollable rage to that led to his arrest?

A. He’d had a fight with his wife earlier that night.
B. He was angered by the Pope’s stance on the Iraq war.
C. The devil and his minions had been tormenting him for years and he cracked.
D. The criticism he received for his very successful movie “The Passion of the Christ.”

2). Gibson has been dogged by allegations that he is anti-Semitic for years due to opinions expressed by his father and comments that Gibson made about the Holocaust. When “The Passion” came out, some critics worried that the film could incite violence against Jews, although Gibson insists that didn't happen and that:

A. He used a portion of the film’s profits to increase interdenominational understanding.
B. His film should be shown in public schools to educate all children about Jesus Christ.
C. He is forever thankful to God that the film was a success.
D. He is owed an apology.


ANSWERS
1). D, criticism he’d received. Gibson insists his rights were violated by the criticism he received for his movie "The Passion of the Christ," which, he explains, resulted in resentment that surfaced the night he was arrested for drink driving. And he goes on to add, "Even before anyone saw a frame of the film, for an entire year, I was subjected to a pretty brutal sort of public beating. During the course of that, I think I probably had my rights violated in many different ways as an American. You know, as an artist, as a Christian. Just a human being, you know." Huh? What the hell is he talking about? Life as a powerful superstar living in Malibu must be rougher than we imagined.
2). D, an apology. Apparently having a hugely successful film, making hundreds of millions of dollars in profit and having such creative freedom just aren’t enough for poor old Mel. He adds, "The film came out. It was released, and you could have heard a pin drop, you know. Even the crickets weren't chirping…But the other thing I never heard was one single word of apology." So, Gibson is blaming the Jews for his behavior because they didn’t say they were sorry? Hmmm…

Must See TV!

It’s Thursday, and for most of us that means a night of great TV. But not for our friends at the Parents Television Council.

In fact, just last Thursday, a scene in one popular prime-time show caused the PTC to file a complaint with the Federal Communications Commission over what it called “illegal obscenities that were intentionally scripted” into the show.

So today we ask you, WHAT was the “obscenity” and WHAT was the show?

A. The word “balls” was uttered on CBS’s “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation”
B. The word “tits” was said on NBC’s “ER”
C. The phrase “ass-wipe” was spoken in ABC’s “Grey’s Anatomy”
D. The curse “Goddamn” was said on The CW’s “Supernatural”
E. The word “evolution” was spoken in PBS’s “Journey to Planet Earth”


ANSWER
B: The word “tits” was used on “ER” in a discussion between characters Abby and Kovac as they discussed the merits of breastfeeding their new baby.

“How many families in America would deem words like…’t*t’ to be appropriate for their 14-year old children?” PTC Executive Director Tim Winter foamed at the mouth. “Perhaps some of the programming executives…but most families would not.”

(And yes, the PTC press release really did spell it “t*t”.)

“This complete and utter disregard for the law will not be tolerated,” Winter concluded.

Now we at Holier Than Thou could understand the PTC’s fury if the word uttered had been “f*ck,” “c**t” or even “c*cks*ck*r.” And we do AGREE with the PTC when it comes to filing an FCC complain against the My Network show “Desire,” which apparently used the “s-word” in broadcast prime time.

But for the PTC to get their panties in a knot over the word “t*t”? Well, we think that’s just b*llsh*t!

Liberty Sunday

Spearheaded by the Family Research Council, some 1,000 evangelicals descended on Boston’s Tremont Temple Baptist Church for the annual Liberty Sunday event. And with Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney at the helm, the group railed against what it considers to be a growing evil in this country that, among its other dangers, is now a threat to their very right to religious expression.

So, just WHAT was the target of Liberty Sunday?

A. Recent IRS investigations of churches illegally engaged in politicking
B. Criminal investigations of Catholic Bishops, including Los Angeles’ Roger Mahoney, involved in the church’s sexual abuse scandal
C. Some 28 million dollars that have been allocated to church groups through the Office of Faith-Based Initiatives that still have not been distributed
D. Gay marriage


ANSWER
D: Gay marriage. The group chose Massachusetts for the rally since it was the only state to legalize same-sex unions. But by any measure, it’s quite a stretch to claim that gay marriage has eroded their religious freedom.

That didn’t stop Family Research Council President Tony Perkins from saying, “When we look at what has happened with same-sex marriage, as it began in this stand and threatens to spread across the country, we’ve seen in its wake the loss of religious freedoms and the ability to speak out based upon one’s moral conviction.”

Perkins was apparently speaking about a local father who was arrested while making a stink at his son’s school to protest the school’s approach to homosexuality.

Eight states will take up amendments banning gay marriage on the November ballot.

Bless This Rumba

Sorry, but even after yesterday’s Sara Evans divorce-fest, we still can’t get “Dancing with the Stars” out of our heads.

1). So please indulge us today as we ask, Ms. Evans aside, which of the five remaining “Dancing with the Stars” candidates has their priest come down to the studio to bless them before each taping?

A. Monique Coleman
B. Joey Lawrence
C. Mario Lopez
D. Emmitt Smith
E. Jerry Springer


2). And while we’re on the subject, WHICH of the following un-wholesome things can be said about our blessing-minded dancer?

A. They appeared nude in a steaming shower scene on F/X’s “Nip/Tuck”
B. They were accused of sexual assault in 1993
C. They had their marriage annulled after only six weeks
D. All of the above


ANSWERS
1). C: That would be “Saved by the Bell’s” Mario Lopez

2). D: All of the above. Not only did Lopez recently show his backside on “Nip/Tuck,” but in 1993, he was accused by two women of sexual assault (charges in both cases were not filed due to a lack of evidence), and his 2004 marriage to Ali Landry was annulled after only six weeks.

At least Lopez didn’t follow “Saved by the Bell” colleague Dustin “Screech” Diamond into the world of X-rated videos…

Divorce With the Stars

We didn’t start the fight by turning ABC’s “Dancing with the Stars” into an unlikely battleground in the Culture Wars, but we’re looking to end it now that Sara Evans has quit the competition upon filing for divorce from her husband of 13 years.

Evans, a successful country star with a wholesome image who had sung “The National Anthem” at the 2004 GOP convention, was a popular contestant among evangelical Christians. But it was the Republican campaign machine that turned her involvement with the show into a political movement.

So we’ll start by asking you:

1). WHICH Holier Than Thou GOP operative started an e-mail campaign in support of Sara Evans encouraging TV viewers to vote for her on “Dancing with the Stars”, noting that she “has been a strong supporter of the Republican Party and represents good American values in the media”?

A. Karl Rove
B. Jeb Bush
C. Tom Delay
D. Mark Foley


2). That same GOP operative went on to urge his followers to defeat WHICH OTHER CONTESTANT on the show by stating, “We need to send a message to Hollywood and the media that smut has no place on television by supporting good people like Sara Evans”?

A. MSNBC’s Tucker Carlson
B. Talk show host Jerry Springer
C. Actor Mario Lopez of “Nip/Tuck”
D. Self-proclaimed “bad girl of pop” singer Willa Ford

3). However, GOP politics and Sara Evans were linked long before her turn on “Dancing With the Stars.” In fact, her husband Craig Shelske ran his own unsuccessful Republican campaign for a Congressional seat in Oregon and worked as a GOP fundraiser as well.

But it was his extra-circular activities that ultimately led to his divorce. WHICH of the following were among the allegations made by Evans against her husband in her divorce filing? (Careful, there could be more than one correct answer here.)

A. He drank excessively
B. He was emotionally and physically abusive
C. He committed adultery
D. He watched pornography with his 7-year-old child in the room
E. He has at least 100 nude photos of himself in a state of arousal on his home computer
F. He has other photos of himself having sex with other women on the same computer


4). Of course, before the divorce filing, Evans and Shelske were seen as the model family values family, with three young children living a righteous Red State lifestyle in Tennessee.

In fact, as recent as last year, Evans discussed how “devastating” divorce can be (she is a child of divorce herself), and noting that, “The way to an amazing marriage is” WHAT?

A. “…being patient with one another.”
B. “…reading Bible passages to each other every night.”
C. “…sharing your faith in the Lord on a daily basis.”
D. “…having sex…lots of sex.”



ANSWERS
1). C: It was disgraced Republican Tom Delay who turned his campaigning talents to the call-in reality show on Sara Evans’ behalf.

2). B: Delay singled out “ultra liberal talk show host Jerry Springer” for defeat. (For the record, Springer has lasted on the show longer than Sara Evans did.)

3). That would be all of the above. What’s more, according to intrepid blogger Wonkett, Shelske also liked trolling around Craigslist looking for threesomes and strangers to have anal sex with.

4). D: Sex was apparently Evans’ recipe for a happy marriage — or at least, a happy marriage with a sexual deviant. “Sex keeps the marriage young,” she continued. “And a woman should maintain herself for her husband and stay attractive. I like to put the kids to bed, have a glass of wine on the patio or by the fireplace, and I ask Craig, “’What do you need of me?’”

Tempting Faith

Critics of the Bush administration have long maintained that it pays lip service to the needs and issues of the evangelical movement without ever actually delivering on its promises — part of a duplicitous Karl Rove campaign strategy to get out Christian voters on election day, only to dismiss them the day after.

But few thought such criticisms would come from the former number-two man in Bush’s own Office of Faith-Based Initiatives. Yet that’s exactly what David Kuo is charging in his new book, “Tempting Faith.”

Kuo, himself a conservative Christian, ultimately left the Bush administration in disgust. He now says that the White House publicly praised the evangelicals for campaign purposes, only to play them for suckers after election day.

Case in point? According to Kuo, which of the following was among the derogatory descriptions that Bush administration used to describe evangelical Christians?

A. “The nuts”
B. “Ridiculous”
C. “Out of control”
D. “Goofy”
E. All of the above



ANSWER
E: All of the above. Kuo’s conclusion? “[The White House] was mocking the millions of faithful Christians who had put their trust and hope in the President and his administration.”

Name That Commandment: The Sen. George Allen Edition

It’s tough to take the Religious Right seriously when they want to impose Biblical law on the rest of us but they just can’t live by those same laws themselves.

Our most recent case in point is Sen. George Allen of Virginia, a conservative Republican Christian who has eyes on the White House in 2008.

But first, Allen needs to win re-election in next month’s increasingly competitive senate race — a task that will be all the more difficult following revelations that Allen recently broke WHICH of the following 10 Commandments?

(Will give you a hint — the word “Macaca” or the fact that his mother is really Jewish DO NOT enter into the equation)

A. The Third: Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain
B. The Sixth: Thou shalt not commit adultery
C. The Seventh: Thou shalt not steal
D. The Eighth: Thou shalt not bear false witness


ANSWER
C: This time, it was the Eighth Commandment — the one about bearing false witness — that Sen. Allen decided he could live without.

Specifically, for five years in a row Allen failed to disclose more than $1 million in stock options he got for his work as a director of a high-tech company in violation of Congressional rules — in other words, he lied.

Keeping Our Schools Safe in Georgia

At a time when we have been inundated with stories of shootings in our nation’s schools, we couldn’t help but notice the actions of Laura Mallory of Gwinnett County, Georgia, who has taken it upon herself to keep her local schools safe.

Ms. Mallory, a mother of four and no doubt a God-fearing woman, is pressing her local board of education to ban WHAT “evil” thing which she said leads to such school shootings?

A. The thigh-high skirts the Gwinnett High cheerleaders wear
B. The annual “Halloween Haunt” festival and fundraiser
C. Jewish elementary school teachers taking time off for the Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kipper holidays
D. Harry Potter books from the local schools’ libraries


ANSWER
D: Ms. Mallory wants to ban all Harry Potter books from the schools libraries, saying they are an evil attempt to indoctrinate children into the Wiccan religion while creating a culture that leads to more school shootings.

To which, Board of Education attorney Victoria Sweeny pointed out that if all books containing references to witches were removed from the libraries, they would have to include Shakespeare’s “Macbeth” and Disney’s “Cinderella.”

Turning the Page

How is the Christian Right responding to the whole Mark Foley/Congressional page scandal?

With the sort of screaming from the treetops moral indignation one would expect from those who want to impose Biblical law upon the entire nation? Or by running for political cover lest their condemnation of Foley — who, after all, is a Republican — might prove to be an inconvenient truth at best, or an outright disaster at the ballot box at worst?

Well, at least one of Holier Than Thou’s favorite Warriors for Christ has spoken, and it isn’t pretty.

So, today we ask you, WHO recently blamed Foley’s victims for the whole sordid affair, claiming the scandal is really nothing more than “sort of a joke by the boy and some of the other pages”?


A. Rev. Pat Robertson of “The 700 Club”
B. James Dobson of Focus on the Family
C. Rev. Russell Johnson of the Ohio Restoration Project
D. Rev. Rick Warren of the Saddleback Church and author of “The Purpose Driven Life”
E. Rick Santorum, Republican Senator from Pennsylvania


ANSWER
B: That would be James Dobson of Focus on the Family — you know, the guy who kept foaming at the mouth over Monica Lewinsky’s dress?

Dobson went on to say that, “As it turns out, Mr. Foley has had illicit sex with no one that we know of.” Shortly thereafter, the Los Angeles Times ran a cover story interview with a former Congressional page who said that he indeed had sex with Foley.

Up All Night

During these troubled times it’s important to know what our elected officials consider to be the dangers that loom large on the horizon and potentially threaten the United States and the world.

So when Rep. Marilyn Musgrave (R-CO) spoke recently at the Family Research Council’s “Values Voter Summit” we perked up our ears. We were especially interested when Musgrave declared that WHAT “is the most important issue that we face today”?

A. Nuclear proliferation
B. Terrorism
C. Global Warming
D. Gay marriage



ANSWER

D: Yup, gay marriage, can you believe that? Musgrave told the audience that “when you’re in a cultural war like this, you have to respond with equal and hopefully greater force if you want to win,” and warned that the “future is grim” if gay marriage is not banned. Huh? Have people lost their minds?

When we can’t sleep at night, we’re thinking about real potential cataclysms, like if weapons of mass destruction are going to be unleashed somewhere or if our environment is circling the drain, not how awful it would be if gay couples were granted the same rights and privileges accorded to heterosexual married couples. Somehow visions of gay couples picking our china patterns and being able to provide health insurance for their partners through their work just doesn’t cause us to break out in a cold sweat in the middle of the night.

The Coalition of the Unwilling?

Under increased political pressure and a growing dissatisfaction with the lack of social conservative gains to accompany GOP victories at the ballot box, it appears that some in the Evangelical Christian movement are starting to eat their young.

Case in point?

Last month, the Christian Coalition — the once-powerful political movement founded by Pat Robertson and once led by Ralph Reed — was rocked when THIS state’s chapter announced that was leaving the national organization after complaining that the group had become too liberal. (Hint: It now joins Iowa and Ohio among state chapters that have left the national Coalition since the start of the year.)

A. Alabama
B. Kansas
C. North Dakota
D. Texas


ANSWER
A: Alabama, whose loss should be particularly upsetting to the Christian Coalition, which will lose its 1,900 volunteers and links with more than 13,000 churches.

Foley Follies

We at Holier Than Thou think there is nothing funny about the allegations that Republican Congressman Mark Foley, who headed the House task force for missing and exploited children, had been making inappropriate sexual advances toward underage male congressional pages for years.

1). But we do feel the need to point out that, Foley has said in his defense, that he was sexually abused as a teen by WHOM?

A. A neighbor
B. His high school basketball coach
C. A relative
D. A member of the clergy


2). And while we’re on the topic, Foley’s religious affiliation is WHAT?

A. Catholic
B. Lutheran
C. Southern Baptist
D. Presbyterian


ANSWERS
1). D: Foley said that, while it’s no excuse for his own actions, he was molested by a member of the clergy when he was between the ages of 13 and 15.

2). A: And while Foley won’t discuss just who this clergyman was, Foley did grow up in the Catholic Church, where he was an altar boy.

Fire and Brimstone from South America

By now we’ve all heard Venezuelan President Hugh Chavez telling an assembly at the United Nations that President George W. Bush was “the devil.”

But we can all rest assured that not all South American politicians share that point of view.

In fact, Rafael Correa, the front-running presidential candidate in Ecuador, said that calling Bush the devil is terribly offensive. To WHOM?

A. The 800 Ecuadorian troops who served in Iraq as members of the “Coalition of the Willing”
B. The five Ecuadorian citizens who were killed in the World Trade Center on 9/11
C. Good Christians everywhere
D. The devil


ANSWER
D: The devil. We’ll let Mr. Correa take it from here:

“Calling Bush [the devil] is offending the devil,” he said. “The devil is evil, but intelligent…. I believe Bush is a tremendously dimwitted president who has done great damage.”

Yet another heart and mind won over the Bush administration.

Republicans Behaving Badly

Ripped straight from the “Do As I Say, Not As I Do” playbook comes two tales of Holier Than Thou politicians whose election campaigns have hit troubled waters after breaking the First Commandment of Religious Right Politics, which is obviously, “just don’t get caught.”

So, can you match the politician with his misdeed?

1). Rep. Don Sherwood, a four-term congressmen and married father of three from Pennsylvania who has built his career on supporting “family values”
2). Richard Mountjoy, a California Republican running for U.S. Senate who opposes abortion, favors prayer in school, and calls himself the “moral” alternative to Democratic Sen. Dianne Feinstein

A. Was accused of choking a woman, 35 years his junior, whom he was having an affair with in his Washington DC apartment
B. Lied about his military record by claiming to have served aboard the famed battleship USS Missouri during the Korean War when he actually served aboard a much smaller and less storied cruiser
C. Misused more than $300,000 in political contributions for his own personal gain, including buying a houseboat, jet-ski and race horse
D. Entered rehab after crashing his 2006 Mercedes Benz into the back of a school bus while driving under the influence


ANSWERS
1). A: Family values man Don Sherwood admitted to the affair, but claimed not to have assaulted his mistress while doing so. (That’s a violation of the Seventh Commandment, for those of you keeping score.)
2). B: And Richard Mountjoy claimed to have served upon the Missouri, although the Navy has no such record of his service. (Which, of course, is a violation of the Ninth Commandment.)

Serial Preacher

This is why we at Holier Than Thou find the Religious Right so hard to take seriously.

He’s a born-again Christian who is at the heart of a growing religious movement. Christians around the world write letters to him, pray for him, send him money and have even named their children after him. He works as a pastor, produces Christian videotapes and journals, gives interviews to Christian radio shows, and has appeared on Pat Robertson’s “700 Club.”

Oh, and did we mention, he’s also a serial killer?

So, just who is this serial killer who has found religion in prison and turned into the darling of the Religious Right?

A. “Night Stalker” Richard Ramirez
B. Charles Mason of “Helter Skelter” fame
C. “BTK” killer Dennis Rader
D. “Hillside Strangler” Angelo Buono
E. “Son of Sam” David Berkowitz


ANSWER
E: None other than the Son of Sam, David Berkowitz, who is also featured in a CD sold by none other than James Dobson’s Focus on the Family.

Since finding religion in prison, David now knows — and his followers agree — that he’s been granted a place in God’s kingdom, despite those six people he brutally murdered in New York in the 1970s.

“I’m heaven-bound and shouting victory!” he tells his Christian audiences.

Need we say more?